tributed | [ rl with Nero ]

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[ rl with Nero ]

[These past couple of months had been a living hell for Katniss. Restrictions on District Twelve were higher than ever, and the announcement of the Third Quarter Quell sealed her death. Going back into the arena meant death for her so Peeta could live. Peeta had to go home. that was the arrangement she'd reached with Haymitch. It's what they both owed Peeta.

But Katniss just wanted to forget. About training with Peeta and Haymitch and struggling to help Gale and his family survive. She just wanted company as she hid out in the forest where she'd told Nero to meet her when she left the voice message for him to come to District Twelve to see her.]

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[ She remembered? That made it more awkward - was there another time? Now he wasn't sure, and felt odd and hot again, a mix of frustration and nerves. A proper response, he thought. ]

No.. t-the virus, I mean - it, augh. You remember it? All of it? It isn't like some weird lucid dream to you..? [ I wasn't dreaming. If he ever admitted to being embarrassed, he would have now. He felt it - and tried to hide it, wanting anger again over this raw awkwardness.

He remembered all the feelings for her, and ... no, that he was ignoring. It kept him up late at nights anyway. Too awkward. ]

[ ..... Oh god. He didn't remember. Not the way she did. To her she remembered the reality of it, she had woken up at home with a damn ferret after the event. She couldn't pretend it away. But he had thought it was a dream or something and.

Oh god. Could she be more embarrassed? Not likely. ] I still have the damn ferret from the virus.

That's... how I knew it was real. Every part of it. [ Including the parts with them. ]

You never said anything, I didn't want- [ He sighed, not really sure what to say. The virus made their reality false, but the feelings weren't- that was for sure. It was hard to admit that they stayed. The 'spark' that was there, was still lingering, and he wanted to test it. He was too stubborn to ignore it, and too damn unsure to test it. ]

I remember being with you though, the way it felt -- sort of. And being really angry about that jackass kissing you.

[ What was she supposed to say? That she remembered them dating. That she still had those feelings carrying over into her real life. Effecting everything. Keeping her from moving on. ]

I remember that. [ She sighs. ] I also remember... wanting to keep you around. Not wanting to lose you.

[ The thought was hard to believe. Maybe it was because he remembered feeling the same for her. Very possessive feelings of want, and not wanting to lose her to some idiot that didn't deserve her. The same now applied to this situation. Not wanting to lose her to some idiot nation that had it's morals criss-crossed and cut. ]

I dunno how you feel now but, I'm still not goin' anywhere. Too much to figure out... too much I want. I don't think I'm going to give it up for anything. M'too hard headed, anyway.

[ .... So wait. What was he saying? She looked up at him at that, holding up her hand now. ]

Even though I'm engaged? Even though I'm going to die?

[ ... There was that. How could he say that he didn't care? ]

Doesn't matter to me. Ch'... I might be confused as hell, but that doesn't mean someone else is going to stop that.. and, I can't stop someone from dying-I guess, even I have limits. [Even though he was still trying to think on this one.]

[ .... That's probably the nicest thing anyone's ever said to her. Or done for her. Or whatever. ]

Thanks Nero. For not... giving up on me. Or whatever.

Hah... it's 'whatever'. [ Smoooth and cool. ]

I tend to stay pretty consistent. I just like to be set in my ways I guess. And my ways... [ like you. ]

.... [ Well. She gets this idea. And then after that she can't go back on it, but she can't stop to think either. Or she'll never do it.

And with that she reaches in to press a light kiss to his lips. Just a small one before she leans away. Before the shame and embarrassment washes over her and she spirals into regret and self-loathing. Just for one perfect moment, she forgets all else but the boy next to her. If she could give Peeta kisses for food on screen and kiss Gale in the forest alone. She could at least kiss the one person she wasn't so confused about. ]

[ A barely audible sound escaped him as he felt her lips. The kiss was soft and what could-be sweet (he wasn't sure, not one himself to kiss all the town's girls; he wouldn't admitted he wasn't "skilled". Not that he cared much.

Still, he was able to react quickly enough to kiss her back just enough, and when she moved away, he was easily able to bring her back to him, for another kiss that lasted just longer than before. ]

[ She almost expected him to reject her. For all these awkward talkings to be leading up to something different for him than her, something she'd have misinterpreted that would have ruined everything between them.

Then he was pulling her back. Bringing her close for another kiss, this one much more than the other one. This one real. This one full of their mutual feelings for each other that left Katniss breathless as she kissed him back, finally leaning away to try to catch her racing heart, but beyond any capacity to speak yet. ]

[ When the kissed stopped, he leaned back, eyes settling on Katniss before looking off a bit, something of an awkward quiet lingering in the air, all the while not caring. That's what was missing, and it was weird to think about admitting that.

The feelings were coming too fast, or ... weren't they? It was hard to tell. For someone that never gave a rats ass about another person so much. Not really.

Where could he begin?]

[ Finally Katniss settled back against the tree, just... trying to make sense of what had happened. Grateful Nero didn't live here, but wondering what impact this would have on her life. Then she remembered it didn't matter. It was too late for them to do anything else to her anyway.

She closed her eyes for a second now. Trying to sort through the confusing thoughts in her head. ]

I think I care about you.

... I was getting that feeling myself.

If you're going to die... [ It was a quickened thought, and not one he anywhere near liked, but he wondered. ] I want to do what I can. If I can. [ Something he was good at, was working for what he wanted. Nothing else around him had to matter. ]

I know I care about you. It's ripping my brain apart, and annoying as hell that I couldn't put sense to it. I can't explain it, I don't wanna have to break it apart to 'get'.

[ She runs her hands through her hair now, trying to get her mind to focus on the words. ]

My life is wrapped up in these horrible games. They're destroying everything else I care about and I just... I sit here. And I watch it every day. And I know that nothing's going to change. People are going to die here every day and none of that's going to stop.

But then there's you. This piece of my life that was untouched by this place and now... you're just as wrapped up in it because I am. And I don't want that to happen. That's why I've been refusing to admit these feelings.

Hey, I don't plan to get wrapped up in anything I don't have to. If someone puts a limit or price on my head-- or yours, they're my target, too. [ He meant it. One thing he was good at, was taking care of shit like them. Any of them , he was fine with taking out. There was no limit for him. Nothing to stop him, nothing to draw boundaries. ] I want someone to mess with me. If thats how I can clean this up for you, hell- for me too if I need to be careful now. I hope they see. And I hope they hear the threat.

That's what I mean by wrapped up. This shouldn't be your problem or your concern. I don't want you to have to take anyone out. [ Not that she didn't have a small list of her own... ] I don't want you to have to worry about me. Or for you to have to feel anything when I die.

It's a little late for that.. No sense in worrying now. [ He stared again, wanting to pull her for another kiss. The topic of death was too heavy. Words seemed too violent. It always went back to 'kick his ass' ]

[ Not that she'd object to another kiss. But Katniss was always so careful with these things. She'd only kissed Peeta to survive, she didn't get the emotions behind it. With Gale he'd kissed her and she'd given in. With Nero it was... so much harder. ]

Then don't worry about me.

Okay. [ It was easy to say, and that's all anyone usually asks. It just hear the words. He couldn't help what he felt, and he couldn't help moving closer, still careful to keep his right side shifted away. ]

My mouth is sealed. So, don't worry about me worrying. I don't worry, anyway, I act.

[ And since you're that close, Nero, she has to look up at you to meet your gaze now. ]

Don't act stupid then. That'll make me worry.

Hah, don't worry Katniss... [ No one ever said he had good humor, but the look on his face was what could have been a mix of teasing and trying to hide a more serious emotion both. ] I'll wait until your dead.

As long as Prim's safe, I don't care what you do after I die. [ That's okay. She was trying to remain calm as well. She didn't let anyone see how messed up she was over going into the games. Not since the first night after she lost it. ]

[ Not too sure why, Nero leaned in again to kiss her. If she was going to die, if she HAD to die, there were going to be no consequences now. ]

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